Getting Over the Flower Girl Nerves

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An Ancient Tradition

Having a flower girl at your wedding is an old tradition which began in Ancient Rome. The flower girl would carry wheat and herbs to bless the bride and groom with fertility and prosperity.

More recently the idea has changed to throwing flower petals out before the Bride walks down the aisle, with the petals representing fertility. Some older ideas are that the petals were used to ward off evil spirits.

With that said, you may not want to be blessed with fertility! There are definitely other options for you if you want to keep the flower girl tradition without the fertility blessing. Here are some options for your flower girl:

~Pine cones
~Jelly Beans
~Paper Hearts

Whatever you decide for your little darling to shimmy down the aisle to will be beautiful and magical to be sure. But what about the Flower Girls Nerves…

If your flower girl is anything like my daughter than she’s likely a wild person at home! My daughter will put on her Elsa dress and cape and act out the entire 109 Minute Frozen movie! But when it comes to being in front of a bunch of people, and likely people she doesn’t really know, then she gets a little nervous.

And can you blame her. Hand her a basket of flowers to throw on the ground while 100 people stare at her? Sounds like your setting her up for 100 people to yell at her to pick up her mess! So here’s what I did recently for a wedding she was asked to be in.


We walked exactly where she would be walking a few times so she could see how long it would take and not get lost

Pep Talk

Told her to be brave (she’s the bravest person I know!)


When it was time for me to take my seat I left her with the Bride. She was comfortable with her and wasn’t scared when I left her.

Have a checkpoint

In my case I sat in the very last row and had her walk to me first. Once she got to me she told me she was really nervous. I told her not to be nervous and then I took a handful of flowers and threw them so she could see how fun it was! Her daddy happened to be a groomsmen so I told her to just throw the petals and walk to her daddy. She did amazing! Find a couple of people who your child is super comfortable with and use them as her checkpoints!

Don’t be discouraged!

Some kids just may not be into it, and forcing them to do something they don’t want to do may cause some embarrassing tantrums or trust issues. If your child is still having issues then try to find a way to make it fun. Walk down the aisle with them, have them walk with the ring-bearer (if there is one), or offer a treat (we’re not against bribery over here, just keep it reasonable!)

In most cases, your little one will survive and moments later all eyes will be on the Bride and Groom. All will be forgotten and in a couple hours there will be cake!